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Military
Maneuvers
by Commandant
This is the true story of an early adventure of mine. The story began in the broken lands with Lords Zellex and Lleto and myself, Commandant. We thought we were the hot stuff camped out in hooded figures. Crack, crunch, splat. We were having fun whacking hooded figures in the Broken Lands.
"Too easy," I said.
Not to be outdone, Lleto chimed in, "I've kilt kiramon in Teras." Zellex, who probably never heard of Teras or Kiramon, just nodded wisely.
"Yeah? I bet we could we smoke troll kings," I blurted out. Right there, the gauntlet was thrown down and a challenge issued without me even knowing what I was getting into.
"It must be 'be kind to warrior day'," Lleto whispered to us when we asked for every spell under the moon at Hearthstone. For some reason, everyone was delighted we were leaving and were more than happy to spell us up after listening to us bragging over and over we were headed to troll kings. After bragging extensively for a good 20 minutes, we realized we really had to find troll kings and kill one.
Without map or short swords, we plunged into the dark pool to enter Darkstone. Unbeknownst to us, our trip had a minor setback immediately. Our luck improved however when we eventually found each other after being separated. Our bounty to this point was one dead centaur and one dead roa'ter. Booty count was zero skins and zero silvers.
A kind word or two from passers-by showed us to gargoyles. The first lesser gargoyle handed us our lunch but we persevered. I think it ran out of blood before we did. After eating some herbs, we were once again ready for our quest. Since Lleto was fond of sitting on the Hearthstone steps and listening to the elders, he knew many things that we didn't. Consequently, he became our 'take-charge' leader.
Our next conquest was a mein golem. Although Lleto was correct when he said they blow up, he didn't know what that meant. We soon found out. As we stood together, stunned and bleeding from our guts, chests and legs, we could imagine the laughter we would hear the next time we walked into Helga's or Hearthstone.
After once again breaking out the herb store, we were on our way. One thing our brainy leader didn't know about Darkstone was its magical effects. We soon found ourselves depleted of all spells. We also found kiramon. Up to this point, while never saying a lot, Zellex would chip in a comment now and then. We were engaged for the battle for our lives against this charging kiramon defender. After chopping at it for ten minutes, I became irritated that Zellex wasn't doing anything at all. To our dismay, when we finally killed it, Lleto and I had to watch it decay. We both had severe nerve damage and Zellex had been stunned the entire time. Booty count was still zero skins and zero silvers. I had long ago pitched the 26 pound shard of glaes from the mein golem. To our relief, Zellex didn't have nerve damage nor a head injury. A troll king hide was still in reach.
With Lleto leading, I dragged the still stunned Zellex room to room until Lleto found a safe room on a lower floor of the dungeon. Sitting down, we healed ourselves and tended Zellex's wounds. Lleto just knew we were close to troll kings. Not knowing what else to do, I gave out a miserable prayer. The gods answered. For god knows why, Lleto was carrying some wood from the woodpile off the mine road. Of all the things to ask a god, Lleto asked them to start us a fire, "We need warmth." We discussed strategy for awhile and pondered what to do about the still stunned Zellex. Suddenly a banshee came in our supposed safe room.
Not knowing what else to do, I blurted out, "Retreat," grabbed Zellex by the arm and began dragging him down the corridor with Lleto in hot pursuit. Seeing a door, I pulled Zellex inside. Inside the room was a shaft.
"The shaft," Lleto exclaimed. "We've been looking for it. The shaft leads to troll kings."
"Lleto, I think I owe ye all an explanation about that retreat business. Sometimes a retreat is really just a flank. I mean if Zellex wasn't stunned, I would have smoked that banshee," I offered.
"Flank. Thats a military maneuver ain't it," Lleto asked.
The sign of a true good friend, Lleto agreed with me and congratulated me on my quick thinking and military prowess. We also drew out a rough sketch of what we were looking for: a panel of some sort. We planned to drag Zellex room to room until we found Lleto's cursed panel.
Dragging Zellex as fast as we could, we came to a dead end with a stone sentinel. Although I have never seen one before, I remember Berr telling me he was killed by a swarm of them during the stone valley invasion. At the top of my lungs I yelled, "Flank to the northeast!" We dragged Zellex to the northeast and bumped into friends Qyan and Olerin. Both were engaged in some incredibly complicated conversation about enchanting and hardly noticed us. I think one of them asked what was wrong with Zellex and, too embarrassed to say anything, I just shrugged. They chuckled and moved on their way before I could stop to ask directions or help.
We moved back to where the sentinel was and flanked past him into the door. Whoohaa, there was the sacred panel Lleto was seeking. We set about fiddling with it, kissing it, kneeling and kissing it, smooching, kicking, pulling, pushing and even bashing it. Suddenly someone came into the room and just plain 'entered' it. Completely ashamed and void of any self respect, I bravely volunteered to do some reconnaissance past the panel. I left Lleto with Zellex in case the room wasn't safe and two rooms past the panel, I hit paydirt. Rather, the dirt hit me. A troll king lopped off my leg with the first swing. Apparently, he decided to find better looking treats and left me alone after that first swing.
Hobbling back, I announced we had indeed found troll kings. To our utter amazement, Zellex finally came out of his stun. While I have had my share of good, long stuns, that was still the longest stun I've ever witnessed. Once again, eating the last of our herbs, we healed ourselves the best we could. Always the first to know something, Lleto pointed out we were negative 5000 silvers so far from the herbs and we all agreed a 50-60 lb box was in order. Deciding to go for broke, I opened my cloak and pulled out 3 ruby amulets that I had been saving for a perilous day. We each made sure we had an equal number of blue crystals and acantha leaf.
With a warcry, we charged into the troll kings. Swinging mightily, I dropped the king to the ground leaving its leg twitching nearby. Whooping and yelling, we began to slowly carve the king up like a sword hacking into a melon. The king took an amazing amount of punishment, the like of which I had never seen before. To our disbelief, the leg began to grow and started to hop around. Not too concerned, we let it twitch and hop away to another room. Finally the king began the frothing. Having been prewarned by Lleto, we all ceased attacking and moved into our defensive stances.
The first swing swing wasn't even close. Second swing; ahh, he was growing in attack strength. Third swing; blood was gushing out my chest. Fourth swing Lleto went down with a missing leg. Having been stunned and dragged for about 30 minutes, Zellex returned the favor to Lleto and dragged him the wrong way. I went the other way and realized they might be lost. Going back I found myself in a maze yelling for them. Suddenly, I stumbled upon them, locked in battle with a harbinger. Although neither were stunned, Zellex used the Symbol of Thought to think to me, "We can't move." Next thing I know, Zellex lost an arm and a nightmare ewaved us.
Lo and behold, I looked again and saw a troll king hide. Thawp! My right arm was knocked off and I was stunned. I put away my sword. Thunk! My left arm was broken and I was stunned again.
"Please mother of all gods let me pick this durn hide up," I said to myself. I grabbed Zellex's hand. Smack! Bleeder to the chest. I grabbed Lleto's hand frantically. Crack! Right leg knocked off, stunned again, near death from blood loss. I snatched the troll king hide and use the Symbol of Return to Voln.
"Lady Lissa, please heal me and my comrades Zellex and Lleto pronto please," I asked. Wanting to give an incredible tip for all the healing, I got out a diamond and offered it to Lissa. To the utter horror of Lleto and Zellex, I offered Lissa our troll king hide. She quickly accepted and gave me a smooch. Crying inside, I blurted out, "I want my hide back!" Going on her good instincts and our reputation for tipping healers, we finally convinced Lissa to give us back the hide.
Like three princes, we strutted back to Hearthstone. We passed around the hide like a trophy and bought everyone drinks. The story was embellished to the point where we swore the gods told us we had killed the last troll king and were closing Darkstone for renovation. Although nobody believed a word we said, the evidence in hand garnered a few hugs and even a round of beer from Gaq.
Booty count, one troll king hide, three free beers, and this story.